My Sweet Sweet Everly,
As time nears for us to transition to a family of four, I wanted to take a moment to jot down some thoughts on our time together and hopefully explain why we are about to completely turn your world upside down. Your daddy and I debated forever on whether or not we wanted another baby. There were even a few nights I cried over the decision. I had grown up in a big family and always thought I wanted the same for my future, until I had you. You were enough for us. My heart was so full of love for you I thought there wasn't any possible way to make room for anyone else. Not to mention you take up more than enough of our time and energy. (And let's not forget about the first month of your life.) Why would I want to add another baby to our beautiful little world? Why would I ever risk you feeling like you weren't enough? Like you weren't loved?
The moment the answer became clear to me was our family vacation to Florida last summer. We sat on the beach enjoying the warm sun, and a family beside us caught my eye. They had two little girls playing together building a sand castle. As I turned to look at you, my beautiful baby girl, playing in the sand all by yourself my heart ached just a little. I realized in that moment the decision to make you a big sister was the right one.
I want you to know the most amazing gifts my parents gave me were my two little sisters. Your aunts Courtney and Leslie are by far my absolute best friends, my favorite women to hang out with and talk to. No one relates to me in more ways than Courtney and Leslie can. No one understands the journey I've been on more than they do. No one knows me better than they do. You see, being a big sister means you will always have someone supporting you, cheering for you, pushing you, laughing with you, playing with you, looking to you for guidance, always there to help you, and loving you unconditionally, forever, even after your daddy and I leave this world. Trust me when I say they will test you. Being a sister will not always be easy and it will not always be fun. But the bond I have with my sisters is unbreakable and the lessons they have taught me are invaluable. Before I married your daddy I always felt like it was me, Courtney and Leslie against the world- the Chinn sisters. We were a team. I want to give you that same team. Nothing is more empowering than having a huge support system.
Believe it or not you will need someone to talk about how mean your mom and dad are. You will need someone who can relate to how embarrassing we are. And you will need someone there beside you when the time comes to say goodbye as we leave this world. Until you meet your future husband (hopefully a very long time from now) you will need someone to stand by you. As much as I want that to be me, as much as I want to be your best friend, I can't. God allowed me to be your mom to guide you, to stand in front of you and protect you, to be the one to show you the hard lessons in life. And when you grow up and the time comes to hand you over to your husband, your daddy and I will then stand behind you- supporting you and smiling as you build a life of your own.
So as time closes in on us to start this new chapter in our life I want you to know that you are enough. Your daddy and I love you more than anything in the world. I know you will love being a big sister as much as I have. It will be hard, (sharing still sucks when you're 28 years old by the way) but it will be SO much fun. And the next time we go to the beach, you will have someone playing with you in the sand. A built in playmate is the best. Let's face it- your daddy and I aren't always the most fun when it comes to 2 year old games.
And besides, we both know how special your aunts (and uncles) are to you. They would not have been possible if my parents hadn't made the decision to make me a big sister too. I love you Everly, forever and always.
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